It's quite evident from the banner across the top of Act the First of The Social Parliament that it's a satire. Victoria and Albert as the unicorn and lion supporters. The English coat of arms replaced by, literally, cakes and ale*, or at least drink of some sort, in the upper quarters and musical instruments in the lower ones. And the motto of the Order of the Garter (Honi soit qui mal y pense, Middle French for "Shame on him who thinks ill of it") turned into Honi soit qui mal y danse.
The Social Parliament, Act the First, is dated August 2, 1848, and an announcement of its publication appeared in The Spectator on August 5, 1848; it can be seen near the bottom of the center column here. It was written by humorist Albert Richard Smith (1816-1860), and its conceit was that an imaginary "Social Parliament" would address all the difficulties of society by passing its own Acts. It's basically an extended expression of "there ought to be a law!"
Interestingly, considering how much of the dance section concerns polka, the publisher was David Bogue, who had earlier published a Ballroom Preceptor and Polka Guide (1846).
Act the First (and only; this was a one-shot joke) was "An Act to amend the Laws relating to the giving of Dinner and Evening Parties." Conveniently for me, this included parties with dancing, aspects of which he addressed directly. Although his tone was satirical, and occasionally mean-spirited, Smith made some very reasonable points about dance issues and dropped an intriguing hint about changing styles in waltz.
I'm not going to transcribe all of The Social Parliament, which is seven pages long, but I'll include all the dance-related sections and illustrations below. Follow me down the rabbit hole:
Whereas, for many Years, going as far back as the Momentous Period of "Once upon a Time," it has been the Custom for certain persons to invite Certain other Persons to their Houses, for the Purposes of Eating, Drinking, Dancing, Talking, and promoting Flirtations Connexions, Proposals, Marriages, Interests, and Festivity generally: but, forasmuch as the aforesaid certain persons, at Times, err grievously in their Notions of what is Right or Wrong, to be done on such Occasions, to the Discomfort of the aforesaid certain other Persons invited...
I'm quite sorry to have to skip over such gems as the selection of guests (those who know One Another and those who wish to know One Another), the strategic deployment of Nicknacks, the strictures against servants conducting experiments on guests' French mechanical Hats, the possibility of artificially-manufactured truffles in Times of Scarcity, and proper seating to avoid people staring sulkily through the Artificial Flowers of the Epergne.
Did I happen to mention that Smith was genuinely funny, and not just by nineteenth-century standards? The Social Parliament can be hard to track down (as far as I know, it's not online at all), but it's well worth doing so to read the whole thing.
I'll also skip over the list of classes of guests who should not be invited, which along with Married Bores, Political Economists, Literary Ladies, and Heiresses included "People who think, because one of the Guests has the misfortune to be a 'Comic Writer,' that they must always be making bad Jokes to him, or giggling at the most matter-of-fact Remarks he makes." One gets the idea that this class was particularly personal to Smith, eh?
Further rules include the requirement that Beer be provided, the suppression of Bacchanalian songs, and that " 'wreathing a Bowl with Flowers' be looked at as an Absurdity", particularly when there is no Bowl to wreathe.
Finally, we get to the dance material, which I will quote in full, complete with their accompanying illustrations. Click to enlarge the latter.
XI. And be it enacted, That strenuous Endeavours be made in the Evening, to abolish all "few Friends to get up a Polka," which is generally a dull Piece of Festivity when confined to three or four Couples, and amateur Music; (that is to say,)
That the Polka is a Dance not so intoxicating in itself as that it owes much of its Festivity to a well-marked Music; nice Girls; plenty of Room to fly or chase; a whirling Throng to steer between, or cut out; slight Concussions; smiling Apologies; and telegraphic Sighs, under certain Circumstances, to the Heads over the Shoulders before you; and that, therefore, the Notion of the aforesaid three or four Couples hopping about to the Edification of three or four others, with no Time to rest, without the Mistress appearing, and saying, "Come, we can't spare you, you are such an indefatigable Dancer," is an Absurdity.
He was writing to be funny, but his complaints were (and are) not completely unjustified. He was basically arguing that small dance parties in small rooms with bad music and mediocre partners where one is pressured to dance are not much fun. Those are not absurd opinions...
...though he also felt that the polka was improved by concussions (probably meaning "violent collisions" rather than the medical sense of the term) and flirting with people over one's partner's shoulder. Heh.
XII. And be it enacted, That the foregoing 'Indefatigability, be understood as entirely belonging to the description of Partner chosen, and not to any innate love of kicking one's Heels about to Music for Dancing's sake, which is also an Absurdity; and that, because a man may keep up from first to last with some nice Girl who polks well, it is no Reason that he should be expected to do the same with a perfectly indifferent Partner, who may come under the Class of Plungers, Hoppers, Stand-offs, Oscillators, Sacks, or Feebles.
Once again, Smith is making some reasonable points under the guise of humor. It's certainly easier and more inspiring to dance with a good partner. Beware the Oscillators and Sacks!
XIII. And be it enacted, That, inasmuch as Byron and
Sheridan soundly abused Waltzing on its first Introduction, but were unable to put it down, so the Anathemas hurled against 'confidential' Polking by old Ladies sitting round the Room, slow Men standing up in the Way, and narrow-minded Girls who think it 'improper,' be looked upon as similarly inefficacious; and that, once for all, the aforesaid Style of Polking be made the established one, any Animadversions on it being considered as Proofs that the utterers thereof have not seen it danced in those Circles, whose members we are accustomed to regard as the Arbiters of what is proper to be done in Society. And it be enacted, that the proper Place for the Lady's Head is over the right Shoulder of her Partner, by which means, as they both have an uninterrupted View, much Confusion may be avoided; and that, inasmuch as young Ladies who keep at arms'-length from their Partner, and look towards their own right Shoulder, require as much Room to turn the reverse Way as a team of four French Post-Horses, they be especially avoided.
I'm not sure what "confidential polking" was (I'm guessing it referred to a bit more body contact than the prudish found acceptable), but the point about looking over each others' shoulders (height permitting) as an aide to navigation is perfectly valid, as is the complaint about dancers who hold their partner too far away or turn their body outward while turning, especially in reverse. I'll have to remember "team of four French Post-Horses" as a suitable comparison for future students with those problems!
XIV. And be it further enacted, That for the better Comprehension of the Female Character, the following Rule be received as a general one, not idly written down, but the result of much Observation:
That, at this present Season, any young Lady perpetrating the old Waltz, as frequently occurs, getting in the way of everybody else, and revolving round and round, like the cork Doll on a Piano Sounding-Board, be considered at once as a young Person who goes out very little, and in no very animated Society; lacks intelligent Observation when she does, and will be found somewhat dreary upon endeavouring to converse with her; and that furthermore, these attributes will distinguish her:
She visits principally within a Circle of one Mile in diameter, of which the Centre is Great Coram Street, Foundling Hospital.
She knows not of Carlotta Grisi and has never heard Jenny Lind; and at a Ballet would be nervous and uncomfortable.
She has a great Friend in a young Lady, who lives at Clapham, and sometimes comes to see her, when they go to the Soho Bazaar and by a Berlin pattern or a little Mat.
She wears a rosette on her Dress behind her Waist, and has never been accused of Crenoline.
She sings, faintly, Italian Airs with English Words, nothing at all to do with their original Mission in the Opera they are taken from; and can play one Polka--Jullien's original--out of time.
She sits down very quietly after a Dance, by her Mama, at the which her Partner rejoices.
She is too timid, at Supper, to take Wine, and rarely ventures beyond a little Jelly.
She remains, withal, to the very End of the Evening.
Some of this is a bit mean-spirited; basically, Smith does not like shy and inexperienced young girls. But I find it fascinating that what he fastens on as their major flaw is that they "perpetrate" the old Waltz meaning, per the caption over the illustrations, that they are "addicted to the old trois-temps Waltz". I'm not sure whether he's denigrating the valse à trois temps in comparison to the valse à deux temps or to the polka; either would make sense in 1848. But what an interesting implication that has regarding the popularity of the trois temps, which I was taught was central to couple dancing for the mid-nineteenth century. I increasingly suspect that the balance needs to be tipped heavily toward the deux temps, with some variation by country.
I'm also highly entertained by the witticism that trois temps dancers had "never been accused of Crenoline." You can see the very limp skirt (and the rosette at the back of the waist) in the third illo down in the column above left.
Louis Antoine Jullien's No. 1, The Original Polka was enormously popular and went through many printings aimed at the home pianist. The edition can be downloaded, complete with dance instructions, from Goucher College's Digital Library; use the print or download link to get the whole PDF.
Skipping over XV, which pertains to lighting...
XVI. And be it further enacted, That all Amateur Playing be studiously eschewed, inasmuch as however well Girls may perform Polkas and Waltzes, they seldom keep regular Time, whereby the most determined Dancers get cross; and that, moreover, the Piano in addition usually monopolizes the most attractive Partners in the Room, and that regular pianistes may be had from half a guinea upwards.
Once again, Smith had a valid point about hiring musicians to spare the dancers from poor amateur playing and the best dancers from being stuck at the piano rather than on the dance floor.
Part XVI is the last of the the dance references in The Social Parliament, but I highly recommend finding the whole thing in a library and reading it all just for fun!
* "Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?" is from Shakespeare's Twelfth Night.
Special thanks to James Armstrong for introducing me to The Social Parliament!
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